Let's
by Ivy Invictus
Summary: "She let him in and that's all it took. The revolution was on its way." A story of taking chances - Marauders/James and Lily at Hogwarts
1. Prologue

They say in the second before you die, you see your whole life flashing in front of your eyes.

Have you ever wondered what you'll see? Does this second extend to the number of years you've lived or does your entire life, in the end, holds in one single second? How do you know you're living this moment or _reliving_ it? How do you know you're the author of your own life and not a simple extra in someone else's memories?

What are you going to see in this second? What do you want to remember of your devastating, perhaps brief, passage on earth? The mistakes you made, the follies you did, the causes you fought for, the roads you took, the people you loved. You will see the choices made, you will see these times when you were truly the master of your fate. These things you will remember and be remembered for.

What will you leave behind when you sink into oblivion? What is going to persist of you when your heart stops?

They were ambitious and hopeless, manipulative and courageous. They were wizards, but that didn't keep them from being human. They had no idea they were going to launch the strongest revolution the Wizarding World has ever faced, that their boiling Gryffindor blood would win a war without them being around to witness it. She wanted to make a change in the world. He wanted to make a change in _her_ world. She let him in and that's all it took.

The revolution was on its way.

In this last second, they saw each other's face.

Theirs is a story of _why nots _and_ let's_.

Every story is a story about love, truth and freedom.

But above it, theirs is a story of taking chances.


	2. Chapter 1 : Dads and Deaths

_Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus_.

Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon. He should have known better. That girl breathed fire. He should have stayed away. But it was Lily Evans… and when it came to her, he'd known for a long time now that staying away wasn't an option.

* * *

"I'm _so_ going to fail this exam," Lily moaned as she crossed her legs on her bed, kicking her book in the process that went flying to the floor.

"You're _so_ going to decapitate me if you keep doing this, Lil'," Alice grinned, dodging _An Anthology of Eighteenth Century Charms. _

"Sorry. You know I wouldn't want to decapitate you on purpose."

Alice lifted her gaze to Lily "Well, I knew it the _firs_t time. I'm not so sure anymore."

The two girls exchanged a glance and they both laughed at that. It didn't fool Alice though, she could hear the nervousness in her friend's laugh. Lily had been restless the whole day but kept on denying it when asked.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Alice asked for what seemed like the hundredth time today, closing the book she was holding before pushing herself up the floor to sit on Lily's bed.

"Yes, don't worry about it, it's just that... I don't feel like studying today" she replied while scooting over to make space for the little brunette.

"I really don't get how you can feel like studying _ever_."

"It calms me. And it keeps me from thinking, which is a huge advantage when you're a prefect and wants to hex everyone for not making the task easy." She rolled her eyes, thinking about all the Gryffindor/Slytherin drama she had to deal with those last few days. "Just not tonight. I can't focus on anything. Not with THIS NOISE" she yelled towards the door, hoping someone would hear her. Of course, no one did. How could they with this music yelling in the Common Room?

"What do you want to do, then?"

"Apart from running downstairs and rip the Marauders' throats out?"

"Apart from that, yes. I'd really like keeping the murders to a minimum tonight. You know, being the end of the school year and stuff, let's all make it back home in one piece."

Lily chuckled and this time, the smile reached her eyes.

"You can't blame them for trying to have a little fun before the holiday." Alice continued, rearranging strands of hair in her bun.

Lily lifted one eyebrow. "Oh I don't blame them for having a little fun _before the holiday_. It's more the _preventing people from studying right before the exams_ part that I'm concerned with."

Alice was going to reply something when hurrying steps coming their way echoed on the stairs.

"I bet it's Megan, running back to touch up her makeup," she said instead.

"It's Marlene. It sounds like Marlene."

Surely enough, the door burst open less than two seconds later and a panting Marlene appeared in the room. Lily noticed that she was wearing the dress that they bought together in Hogsmeade two months ago but had thrown above a red sweater that clearly belonged to a boy.

"Girls! You need to come downstairs, RIGHT NOW. Sirius is stripping on a table!"

"And why on earth would we want to see that?" Lily asked, bemused by the half-drunk state Marlene appeared to be in.

"Because it's bloody HILARIOUS!" Marlene shrieked, leaning on the doorframe to keep her balance. "And the boy does have a nice chest, when you think about it..."

"Seems to me like he's already out of his clothes. Watching a drunk Sirius struggling to take his shirt off must be pretty entertaining, but almost-naked Sirius? No thanks."

"Come on Lil'!" Marlene insisted, thrusting her fist in the air. "Let's enjoy the last party of the year! You two are going to regret locking yourselves up tonight! "

"No, what we're going to regret is failing Charms if we-" She was about to decline Marlene's invitation and glanced towards Alice for support, when she realized that her friend was biting her lower lip. She clearly wanted to go. Lily's eyes travelled from Alice to Marlene, then Alice again.

Eventually, she let out a sigh and threw her quill on the floor. "What the hell."

* * *

James took another long sip of his firewhiskey and grinned as Sirius was waving his shirt over his head in a very personal interpretation of _God Save the Queen_. Give Padfoot a drink (or a dozen in today's case) and the man had no notion whatsoever of what was appropriate and what wasn't. Then again, it didn't change much from every other day.

"Where's Peter when you need him? He wouldn't want to miss this outstanding performance." James snickered, turning to Gideon next to him.

"He was having a drinking-contest on the balcony with my brother last time I saw him."

"And who was winning?" James asked. He lifted his cup to his lips and turned his gaze back to Sirius.

"Fabian of course. You don't mess with a Prewett."

"Of course." They both winced as Sirius took a pretty high pitched voice to sing _Send her victorious, happy and glorious. _"And Remus?"

Gideon gazed across the room, being James' eyes for tonight considering the latter didn't feel like wearing his spectacles. Last time they threw a party in the Common Room,he had started the party with them on his nose and when he had woken up the next morning with a pretty blurry idea of what had happened the night before, they had simply vanished. He wasn't taking this risk tonight; therefore he had left his glasses safely on the coffee table.

"There" Gideon finally said with a motion towards the stairs. "He's chatting up Lily Evans."

"It's _Remus_ and _Evans_ we're talking about. They're probably debating the influence the whales yawns have on the sea current." He drank up the rest of his firewhiskey and let his cup on the mantle of the fireplace. "If you may excuse me."

" 'wasn't expecting anything less from you, mate," Gideon grinned as they parted ways, before turning towards the balcony to join his brother.

James approached the stairs where Lily was sitting with Remus.

"She was right. It _was_ bloody hilarious." She was saying when he came close enough to hear their conversation.

"But you missed the best part! I swear I'm going to be scarred for life." Remus replied. "He does that at any party anyway so it's not as if –"

"Look who's here!" James interrupted, leaning on the banister. "Finally decided to come down your tower, have you?"

"This is an optical illusion actually." Lily said, trying to mask her disappointment at not having been able to avoid James tonight. "The real Lily is still upstairs."

"Then I might actually have a chance at dancing with you!"

"Holograms can't dance. Sorry Potter" Lily answered quickly, staring at a point on the opposite wall to keep her eyes from meeting James'. She was explicitly stating that his presence wasn't needed here but as usual, the bloke couldn't take a hint.

"You won't even have to. Just stand there and I'll do all the work." He continued, this atrocious smirk of his on his face.

"I guess I'll go," Remus intervened, standing. "Padfoot is going to need a human crutch if he ever wants to get off that table."

Indeed, a shirtless Sirius was lying on his stomach on the table, seemingly talking to himself. The show couldn't go on forever. When Lily looked back to the boys next to her, Remus was already gone and James had taken his place.

"Remus!" She hissed. He turned to send her an apologetic look and she was suddenly alone with Potter. _Crap_.

"So you came." He said in a much softer voice. He never used that voice in front of his friends. He didn't use that voice much in fact. He kept it for her and when she was in a remotely good mood which was pretty seldom.

"I didn't come for you Potter" she replied, harsher than she intended.

"Then what did you come for?"

He had used the same cold, hard tone that she did and after a few seconds of awkward silence, she looked up at him.

"Okay, you really need to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"That! Thinking everything is about you when the only reason I stopped studying is that I couldn't get any work done with all this noise... and Marlene coaxed us with Sirius dancing."

James was taken aback. "I never said everything was about me, this is just false – wait, what? Sirius dancing? Really? I spend the whole day trying to get you to come to this party and the prospect of seeing Sirius dancing convinced you?"

"It had a certain appeal actually. In a patriotic way obviously, not for my personal use."

James chuckled quietly. "That's gonna be such a big disappointment for him."

"He'll get over it. This certain promiscuity with Eleanor Gavin may help."

His eyes followed hers , falling on a still shirtless and still laying on the table Sirius who wasn't alone anymore but running his fingers in the slender brunette's hair.

"Where's this Huffelpuff girlfriend of yours, by the way?"

"For the tenth time, she's _not_ my - Since when do you care anyway?" He asked, his jaw clenching ever so slightly.

"I don't. Simply out of curiosity. She should be the one you ask to dance with."

He crossed his hands on his lap and took his time answering. "I know you're still new with this concept but what part of _this is a Gryffindor party_ don't you fully grasp, Evans?"

"Don't make me stick my wand in your ribs."

"You would seriously use your wand to _poke_ me? Magic is a waste on you."

She made an offended face at him but they both knew he didn't really mean that. "I promised Alice not to murder you tonight."

He grinned ironically. "Lucky me."

They were quiet for a moment, standing next to each other, staring at the party going on before them. If anyone had spotted them, they would have found it to be a rather odd sight. Potter and Evans weren't famous for getting along smoothly.

Lily was twisting her fingers nervously, sensing the moment she had dreaded coming. Eventually deciding it was better to get it over with, she cleared her throat. "Listen, Potter, about what happened this morning..."

"You don't have to worry." He uttered quickly. "I won't tell anyone."

She tried to add something but she choked on her words so she just nodded instead and lowered her head, wishing he wouldn't see the tears coming to her eyes.

James bit his lip, feeling frustrated he was so powerless at cheering her up. He instinctively lifted his hand, intending to pat reassuringly her shoulder before thinking better of it and his fingers dropped weakly on his knee.

"Evans, look, I know that –"

"Don't. Please, " she said in a low voice barely above a whisper. "I really don't need to hear it."

"But I need to say it, okay?" He turned to her, or at least to the curtain of red hair behind which she was hiding. "I'm sorry. I truly am. And I know I'm not your favourite person in the world, I probably don't even make the top 5 billions, but considering I already know, if you ever want to talk about it, I'll be there."

She lifted her chin and finally met the hazel stare that was fixed on her. "It's nice, it really is but you don't have to pretend to care."

"I do care," He said more firmly. "Evans, we've been living together for six years. Stop acting like we're total strangers to each other."

"Why would you ? You didn't know him. You barely even know me."

"And whose fault is that?"

Usually, this kind of comment could have really easily initiated a fight. They had started heated argument for less than that. Yet it didn't. Neither of them was in the mood to embark on one of their petty but oh so entertaining verbal jousts. He was right, she knew it, and she didn't even try to deny it.

"I think you need a drink" he said, standing up.

She nodded, making her hair bounce on her shoulders. She was ridiculously cute when she did that, James thought. "Yeah," she simply replied "I think you're right."

* * *

One hour and two butterbeers later, Lily found herself without exactly knowing how on a couch in front of the fireplace, Lupin sitting on her left and a 2nd or 3rd year she had never seen before sleeping on her right shoulder. Megan Hamilton, her roommate, was lying on a loveseat next to them, knees propped on the armrest.

"I mean, nobody's perfect right ?" she was saying, combing her long straight blonde hair with her fingers. "Everybody makes mistakes, this doesn't mean I should hold it over his head until death do us part, what do you think ?"

When nobody answered her question, she pinched Peter who was sitting on the floor, resting his head on her seat. He jumped, disturbing Sirius who had passed out on his leg. "Pete, what do you think?" She insisted.

"Are you seriously asking my opinion on boys?" He said sluggishly.

"The question is : are you seriously thinking about forgiving the prick?" Lily intervened, making the boy on her shoulder stir. "It's not as if he borrowed a quill from you and never gave it back. The bloke _cheated_ on you Meg. Twice."

"So what you're saying is that he isn't worth me begging on my knees for him to take me back?"

"What I'm saying is he isn't even worth you glancing his way in the Great Hall."

"Yes, you're right. I don't need to have a boyfriend to validate me as a person. I'm a strong, independent woman who doesn't need approval. I can totally handle being single," Megan muttered as a mantra.

Lily snorted. "Oh please, you could clap your fingers and find a new boyfriend just like that."

"She's right" Peter admitted glancing up at Megan.

Sirius surprised them all by raising a hand and exclaiming "Agreed!"

Remus laughed. "So he wasn't dead after all!"

"Have a little faith in me, Moony," he mumbled. With that, Sirius turned to the side and went back to sleep almost immediately.

"Passing out at midnight at your own party. Really elegant, Sirius" Lily grinned.

A voice in the centre of the room yelled "_EXPLODING SNAPS EVERYONE!"_ but none of them even bothered turning their heads to see who was joining the game. None but Megan who got on her feet enthusiastically "Oh I love this game!" and left with a last shriek of delight.

When her giggles could be heard at the other end of the room, Remus let out an annoyed sigh. "This has to be the shallowest girl I know."

Lily knew he wasn't totally wrong but she's always had this protective feeling for her roommates whom she'd been sharing most of her days with for the last six years so she pretended not to understand what he meant. "Why? Cause she likes playing Exploding Snaps?"

"No. Cause you can't have a discussion with her that doesn't revolve around her or one of her former boyfriends" he spit. "She doesn't care about anyone but herself."

This startled Lily who turned her head to analyze Remus' expression. She had never seen him so bitter. "What did she ever do to you to make you hate her that much?" She asked, concerned.

"It's not what she did to me personally..."

Peter quickly sent a warning look to Remus but not quickly enough to keep Lily from noticing it.

Her gaze went to the two of them alternatively. "Boys, what is going on with you?"

Before they could answer anything – and she hardly believed they would have – a human mass came out of the blue and crashed on the couch on Remus, Lily and the boy.

"Potter!" she squealed as Remus exclaimed "What the- Prongs!"

"Marlene is snogging Gideon!" James giggled in a way that made him sound 5. Obviously he had had a few drinks more than when they talked earlier.

"Oh Merlin" Lily whined. She'd have to do all the damage control tomorrow. Again.

"You seem thrilled Evans" James mocked, settling himself more comfortably on their laps, making them all groan.

"Well, last time it happened – 4th year I think – they spent the two following months avoiding each other, remember?"

"And it was so much fun hearing them talk about how they didn't want to break each other's heart, thinking the other was madly in love."

"I can't believe you guys knew it and didn't tell them!"

"What would have been the fun in that?" James lifted his head from Remus' arm for a second and looked at the younger boy next to Lily. "Who's that?"

"Hell if I know. He simply was there when we sat down and he's been infringing more and more on my personal space since then."

James couldn't care less about personal spaces. Therefore, it was completely normal for him to sit up and poke the boy on the shoulder until he opened his eyelids. "Hey you,you, wake up, wake up" he said, his mouth practically on the boy's ear. "Who are you? I don't think we've met before and you're sleeping on my... hum... good friend Evans' shoulder."

"I'm Professor McGonagall" the boy slurred, his eyes closing again. "Now if you don't let me sleep I'll have to dock points."

"In that case, sweet dreams Minerva!" He turned his head back to his friends. "Funny, she looks taller standing up."

"Then again, she does teach Transfiguration" Remus remarked, making Peter and Lily chortle.

James didn't, he seemed too focused on something going on behind the couch to notice. "Are they playing Exploding Snaps? GUYS WAIT!" He left as abruptly as he had appeared, suffocating Lily while getting up.

"This was a nice chat" Lily said blandly. "Now I think I'm gonna head upstairs."

"So soon?" Remus moaned. "Come on Lil', it's only midnight, the night is young!"

"And we're having such a crazy good time anyway" she said ironically. She tried to glide out of the couch without waking up Minerva-boy and was almost done when a voice coming closer to them called her.

"Lily! Want a butterbeer?" Marlene walked up to them with a cup in each hand and sat on the coffee table.

"No thanks, going to bed. So please don't make as much noise as a herd of elephants when you come back."

"I'll do my best." Normally Marlene would have tried to get Lily to stay a little longer but this time she didn't. Though it was a nice change, Lily raised her eyebrows. She didn't have to wonder for long, understanding the reason at once when Gideon joined them.

"Here, I got you a butterbeer" She said to him in her softest voice.

"You knew I would refuse it, didn't you?" Lily laughed at that. She ought to have been offended but Mar' knew her too well.

Gideon sat next to Marlene and put his hand on her hip. "Thanks McKinnon." He brought her closer to kiss her, making some items resting on the table fall.

"Careful..." Lily kneeled down, as much to pick them up than avoiding watching her best friend snog Gideon. A few books where on the carpet so she put them back where they were and reached under the table to grab a pair of glasses that had fallen too. A pair of glasses she knew too well.

She got back on her feet and turned to Remus and Peter.

"See you tomorrow, boys. Marlene," she added, turning to face her friend "I love you but if you wake me up, I'll hex you."

"Duly noted" She replied with a smile.

Lily pocketed the glasses and glanced across the room. Now where the hell was Potter?

* * *

When Lily woke up the next morning, the first thought that ran through her mind was that she had had a full night's sleep. No Marlene staggering into the room at 3 in the morning, no Megan moaning after having run into some furniture, not even Ellen coughing for ten minutes in the middle of the night. She stretched lazily in her sheets before sitting up and drawing the curtains of her four-poster bed to see who else was in the room. Ellen's bed was the only one with the curtains closed and from where she was sitting, Lily could make out the faint sound of her regular breath. Megan's bed was empty but a million different clothes had been thrown on it, clearly stating the girl had been dressing up this morning. Océanne's bed hadn't been slept in – she probably had spent the night with her boyfriend, which was pretty much usual – nor had Marlene's. _Oh crap._

Once she was showered and dressed in her school robes, Lily headed to her desk to take the books she needed for her studying session with Remus this morning and she looked over at her night table to check her little clock. Her eyes fell instead on Potter's glasses, neatly put next to it. She hadn't been able to find him yesterday to give him his spectacles back. He wasn't playing Exploding Snaps with the others as she thought he'd be, he wasn't on the balcony showing off his drinking skills, he wasn't in his room either. Thinking the poor glasses would be better off with her than in the hands of some potentially distracted or passed out Marauder, Lily had kept them, waiting for the moment she could give them back to Potter herself. She took them and put them on out of curiosity. Damn, the guy _really_ couldn't see anything. She lifted them on her hair and reassembled all her stuff, opening the door with her hip, her hands totally full with the books she was carrying. Halfway down the stairs, she stumbled upon Marlene, making the reversed journey. She was still wearing her dress and the boy sweater and, as if to hide her pretty hung-over state, she was wearing sunglasses. When she saw Lily, she blushed instantly.

"Okay, I may or may not have spent the night with Gideon."

"No kidding" Lily smirked. "I thought you were having a sleepover at Filch's." Marlene made a face and Lily continued, more seriously. "Do I need to lecture you?"

"I don't think so. We both acknowledged it was just a one-night-stand so it's totally awkwardness-free."

"Good! See you at lunch then."

And in a blur of red hair, she was gone. Marlene couldn't keep herself from smiling. Lily was really easy-going when you were on her good side.

When Lily entered the Great Hall on this Saturday morning, the first thing she noticed was that despite the not-so-early hour, the Gryffindor table suffered a great lack of students. Most of the 5th, 6th and 7th year students were sleeping in after the bash of the night before. She walked up to two friendly faces and unloaded her arms on the table.

"That's one pretty impressive stack of books," Peter mumbled in his eggs.

"You want to join us?" Lily smiled, knowing fully-well that he'd rather spend the day playing chess with the Giant Squid than study with Remus and her.

"Nah. It would have been a pleasure but I don't feel like boring myself to death today. Another time perhaps."

"Careful, or I'll take you up on that."

Lily sat down beside Remus and grabbed the pitcher before her. "Pumpkin juice anyone?" They shook their heads, their mouths full. She poured herself a cup and sipped it slowly. "Where are the others?"

"You mean Sirius and James? Hung-over."

Lily thought about Sirius sleeping on Peter's leg and James giggling like a little girl on the couch. "Yeah, it makes sense."

* * *

"Padfoot, wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!" James shook his friend's shoulder just a little harder to make him react. Too hard apparently: Sirius jumped in his bed and punched James on the nose. "OUCH! Blimey, you idiot!"

There was a ruffle of sheets and Sirius sat up, startled, his eyelids fluttering. He looked around the room. "What did just happen?"

"You punched me, prat!" James exclaimed, his hand on his nose.

"Did you wake me up?" He asked in an intrigued voice.

"Well I tried to!"

"Then you deserved it." He fell back on his pillow and rolled onto his stomach.

"Oh no young boy, no going back to sleep!"

James began pulling on the sheets which resulted in Sirius kicking in the air to get his friend to leave him alone. He was only wearing his underwear and it wasn't that warm in their bedroom. "_Proooongs, _sod off!"

"You need to wake up, this is an emergency okay?"

Sirius grunted and sat up against his headboard. His head was aching from the firewhiskey he had consumed the day before and focusing his gaze on something was rather an impossible task. "What is?"

"I'm starving, let's go have breakfast."

"You're kidding, _this_ is your emergency? I'm gonna punch you again."

"No you're not because in about ten seconds, you will realize you're starving too."

They faced each other for ten seconds, barely moving, until Sirius' stomach emitted an outstanding rumble. "Damn it. I hate it when you're right."

A couple of minutes later, Sirius was in the shower, talking to James across the bathroom door.

"How exactly did I end up in my bed?"

"What do you think?" James said while playing with his snitch, lying on the carpet of the room. "Moony levitated you."

"That's why Moony is my best friend."

"I would totally have left you there if it was my call."

"THAT'S WHY MOONY IS MY BEST FRIEND." Sirius repeated.

James chuckled quietly. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to know where my glasses are, would you?"

"Sorry mate. You left them on the Common Room?"

"Yeah I did. Perhaps it was a bad idea."

"You're never gonna find them again."

There was a muffled sound followed by a scream coming from the shower.

"You okay there?"

"Still dizzy, that's all. Merlin, as soon as I've gulped down a thousand sausages, I'm going back to bed and don't expect me to get up before Monday morning."

James caught the snitch flittering above his face and lowered his hand. "You do know we have Quidditch practice this afternoon, right?"

"Fuck! Did you really have to schedule a Quidditch practice the day _right_ after the end-of-the-year party ?"

"Did you really have to get this drunk the night _right_ before a Quidditch practice?"

"I hate you Prongs."

"I love you too sweetheart."

He heard the shower partition open and the sound of the towel being unfolded.

"I really don't get the point in being best mate with the Quidditch Captain if he doesn't even take into account the parties you throw."

"So said Captain can remind you in the morning that you have practice." James got up to his feet and knocked firmly on the door. "Stop combing your stupid hair and let's go to breakfast already!"

"My stupidly gorgeous hair needs combing! Of course you wouldn't know anything about it with this hippogriff's nest you have on your head."

Nevertheless, two minutes later he opened the door and led the way out of the room. They were halfway down the Gryffindor tower when Sirius poked his best friend in the ribs.

"So, any big news about yesterday?"

James looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Lily! I saw you two talking on the staircase. Anything you should tell me?"

"Still don't know what you mean."

Sirius stopped on a step and gave James a look that really made him feel like a retard. "Have I won my twenty galleons yet?"

James shook his head and resumed the descent of the stairs. "We just talked. She's had kind of a rough day yesterday, I wasn't going to... you know, make a move."

"Prongs! There's no easier prey than a vulnerable girl! Why do you keep on forgetting everything I taught you through the years?"

"It's Evans, okay? I couldn't just – It's Evans. She's..." He couldn't find his words, as was often the case when the Lily topic came out.

"I know. She's your dragon."

They arrived at the bottom of the stairs and crossed the nearly empty Common Room in silence. It was only when they were in the corridor that Sirius spoke again. "You're gonna regret not having taken a chance yesterday, though."

"Tell me something I don't know."

* * *

"Hurray, here comes the Daily Prophet" Remus said as the familial rustle of wings filled the Great Hall. "I'm curious to see the headlines" he said as a big light grey owl dropped the paper on his bacon. "Who do you think died this week?"

Lily stuck her hand on her mouth to try to muffle the sob that bubbled in her throat and made it sound like a cough. This was way harder than what she had thought.

Remus noticed it and took his eyes off of the Daily Prophet to look at her."Lily, you okay?"

She nodded hurriedly, drowning her cry in her pumpkin juice. She wasn't even surprised when a thin brown envelope swiftly fell in her empty plate. She took it, feeling the little blotches of ink with the tip of her finger. Her fingers folded impulsively, crumpling the letter in the palm of her hand.

"Lily, you're sure you're okay?" Remus worried, reaching over to her hand which was becoming white.

She jerked her hand back and stood up hastily.

"Everything's fine. I'll meet you in the library." She turned round and walked away, towards the doors.

"Lily!" He called out to her but he knew better than to go after her. If she wanted to talk about it, she wouldn't have left the Great Hall without actually eating anything. He watched her almost run through the big doors and disappear in the Entrance Hall.

Peter swallowed the toast he was chewing and looked at his friend. "What just happened?"

"I have no idea."

Once she was far away from them, alone in the corridor, Lily broke into a run. Her footsteps echoed on the walls like a dozen Lilys running. She fought the tears back. She refused to cry for him. He didn't deserve it.

_20 hours earlier_

"You know Potter, I never thought I'd say that, but we make a pretty good team when you're kind enough to shut up and focus on the work." She said while passing through the door of the classroom he was holding open for her.

"Was that your attempt at complimenting me?"

"It wasn't a compliment. It was more of a non-insult."

"I'll take what you give me," he smiled and matched her pace to walk her to their next class.

They had been paired together for a Charms assignment and against all odds, it had gone quite well. Even if she wouldn't admit it to his face, she knew Potter was brilliant and considering Charms was one of her favourite classes, she was fairly confident in the grade they were going to receive.

She looked surreptitiously at Potter, surprised to see how nice he was with her. These last few months, she barely had been able to find an excuse to argue with him. They were getting along and as odd as it was, it was pleasant.

"Miss Evans!"

Lily turned round, instantly worried when she saw McGonagall hurrying towards her. "Is there a problem Professor?"

"Well..."

"Is it about the next prefect meeting? I discussed it with the Head Girl and I don't think that-"

"No, it's not about it. Could I talk to you in private?"

Lily raised an eyebrow, puzzled. "Couldn't you tell me here? We have Potions now and I wouldn't want to be running late." She turned to the tall boy next to her. "Just go ahead, Potter, I'll meet you there."

She was displaying her usual self-assured smile but he knew her better than to believe it was genuine. She was worried. He started towards the dungeons but stopped once he had turned round the corner. Leaning on the wall, he took his snitch out of his bag and toyed with it. When he was a boy, he wanted to be a seeker. The seeker is the key of the team, the one everybody worships. Like every other 6-year-old, he had wanted to be worshipped. Growing up, he'd found out that playing Chaser was much more fun and he knew that that was what he was meant to be. Yet, he always kept his snitch with him. It brought him back to 1st year, to the beginning of his friendship with Sirius and as time went by, he had grown attached to the whistling noise and the cold touch of the metal on his fingers.

He returned to reality when he heard Lily's footsteps coming his way and shoved the snitch in his pocket. She flew past him without noticing him and he had to grab her sleeve to make her stop.

"Hey, Evans, is everything okay?" She looked different. She was watching him but she didn't see him, as if she was staring at a point in the air between them.

Her face was blank, as was her tone when she said "My dad is dead."

And just like that, she freed her arm and set off again.

"Wait, what?" James started after her, flabbergasted.

"My dad is dead. He went to sleep and never woke up. This was to be expected I guess, he's always had a fragile health but I didn't think it was going to be-" her voice faded on her lips before she could finish her sentence.

James felt his heart constrict at the sight of her fighting back tears. He put his hand on her shoulder, the more comforting gesture he dared to make without scaring her off. "Evans, I'm really sorry."

"There's no need to be" she certified, failing at smiling. "I barely knew him. He left us when I was 10. Since then, I've only saw him one week per year, when my sister and I go to Painswick to see him and his new wife and although he wasn't really fatherly, he did always buy those little biscuits he knows I love and –" Her voice drowned in a sob in a little suffocating sound and a tear finally left her eye.

"Come here" James simply said as he put his arms around her. Normally, she would have yelled or pushed him away, probably both, but right at this moment, he wasn't Potter anymore. He was simply a shoulder she could cry on. That was probably the key with her, being there at the right place, at the right time.

"Thank you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What for?"

She never answered. But then again, she never really did.

* * *

Her dad was dead and he had been there to hold her. He wasn't sure if this was a good sign, if it was an indication that she started warming up to him or if it meant she cared so little about him that she had confided in him just to get it out of her chest. James was mulling over it, bended over his porridge as Sirius was, as expected, gulping down a thousand sausages. Although it didn't keep him from chatting with Remus, his mouth totally full.

"Yes, he had sound-proved the bed with a spell, but that didn't keep us from hearing her tip-toeing out of the bedroom this morning." Remus articulated through the toast he was eating.

"Where the hell was I when all of this happened?"

"Well, when they snogged, you were passed out on the floor in front of the fireplace. When he brought her to the room you were passed out in the air while I was levitating you and I guess that when she left this morning, you were snoring like there's no tomorrow on your bed."

"I still don't understand what she can find in Gideon." Sirius replied, not acknowledging Remus' comment.

"Having a little crush on her, are we?" He teased.

"No, of course not! It's just that, well... The bird is fit. She could do much better than him."

"Like who, yourself?" Remus grinned, the mouth hidden by his cup of tea.

"Shut it Moony." He bit hungrily in another sausage and started waving his fork in the air while he talked. "You know, this is the second time this happens. Not that that displeases me in any way, this certainly is going to be fun, but when you see how that ended the first time... Don't people ever learn anything?"

"Hey, you know what they say. You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice."

They all fell silent for a moment, Sirius and Peter staring at Remus with wide-eyes. "What the hell are you talking about, Moony?"

Remus sighed. He would have liked James' help here but his friend seemed too absorbed by his porridge to even look up. "What I'm saying is that maybe it was meant to be. Who knows if it isn't going to work out this time between them?"

James held his head high, trying to grasp what the discussion at hand was about. "You're talking about Marlene and Gideon?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Gee Prongs, thanks for listening."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about... By chance, would any of you have seen my glasses?"

Of course, they hadn't. James was about to sulk himself in his porridge again when someone sat on the bench next to him.

"Hey guys, isn't Lily with you?"

Talking about the devil... They all looked at the thin blonde that just appeared, her face hidden by a scarf and sunglasses, and they grinned. "Hello there McKinnon!" Sirius greeted. "Did you sleep well? Oh wait, you didn't sleep all that much I reckon."

"Sod off Black" she mumbled "if it wasn't for one of the three here, you wouldn't even know I was there."

"Touché" James sniggered, apparently deciding to take part in the conversation. "What's with the sunglasses? Couldn't manage to face our brightness so early in the morning?"

She took a scone angrily and bit on it, not willing to dwell on the subject. "Don't make me throw my scone at you."

"_Come on_! What's with the sunglasses?" Sirius leaned over the table to try to see her face better. "Merlin, is that a-"

She slapped the hand he was trying to reach to her face and groaned "Let it go, okay?" but she knew he wouldn't so she lowered her head and slowly took the sunglasses off.

"McKinnon!" James exclaimed "That was some rough shag!"

Sirius inspected her face with a concerned look. She had a purple bruise on her left eye, like a little black eye expanding. "Did he...?"

She looked perplexed. "What? – Oh no, no no no, what do you imagine? I just... I just rolled on his night table."

There was a second of silence, when they all wondered how to respond to that. They tried to stay serious but failed miserably when Sirius burst out in laughter and the three others Marauders followed.

Marlene sulked in her scone "My loathing for you lot knows no bounds."

"Lucky Gideon. A good shag and a good laugh in only one night. I'd kill for that." Sirius grinned at her. She punched his arm but had trouble keeping a serious composure herself. It was quite funny, when you thought about it, even if it hurt as hell.

"Please, let it stay between us" she asked shyly but she had little hope they would keep it a secret.

"Have no fear purple-eye, nobody will hear about your little acrobatics."

"Purple-eye?" She frowned. "Really? You weren't able to come up with a better nickname than that?"

"You're right. Violet has a better ring to it."

"I hate you Black."

He smirked. "Mutual."

She finished her scone and seemed to remember something. "By the way, do you know where Lily is? She was supposed to come down here."

"She did." Remus answered, shrugging. "But she ran off. She got a letter and I guess it upset her..."

"Do you know what's going on with her? She's been nervous since yesterday."

James looked up but of course, Marlene was addressing Remus. Out of the four of them, he was by far the closest to Lily. No one would have suspected James to know anything. Remus shook his head, telling Marlene he didn't and stood up.

"I'm supposed to meet her in the library to study. Anyone wants to join?" They all raised an eyebrow at him, apparently agreeing with Peter's thoughts about the Giant Squid. "Yeah, I figured." He took Lily's books, still on the table, and left.

The four remaining ate in silence for a while before James turned to Marlene. "Hey, Violetta –"

"Don't you dare calling me Violetta!"

"- would you happen to know where my glasses are? You were there yesterday." he continued, ignoring what she had said.

She debated whether to help him or not and finally decided to be nice. "Library."

James looked at her with bewilderment and turned to Peter "Was I _that_ drunk?"

"No," Marlene rectified "Lily had your glasses with her this morning, and now she's apparently in the library. Will you be okay on your own or are you going to need help to get there, Blind man?"

"Thanks _Violetta _but we're not all as-" They never knew what the end of his sentence was because his knee bumped in the bench pretty hard and he winced. "Never mind" he sucked in his teeth before leaving.

Sirius looked up at Peter and sighed. "Saturday mornings will never cease to amaze me.

James walked to the 3nd floor in haste, hoping he wouldn't find Emma on his way. He had nothing against her, she was a nice bird with certainly interesting legs, but that was it. She merely helped him pass the time. She kept him from getting bored when all his work was done, all his mates were busy and it was too rainy outside to practice Quidditch. She, in no way, was his girlfriend. No matter what Evans thought. He started to question why exactly he had decided that flirting with a bird this close to the end of the year was a good idea. This was his last chance to actually get closer to Evans and this was definitely not the way to do that. The clock was ticking. He only had two weeks left before their 6th year was over. He didn't have any time to waste. He probably should break things up between Emma and him as soon as possible, he thought. He couldn't lose focus.

Luckily, the corridors leading to the library were vacant. Only Remus and Lily could decide to lock themselves up on such a beautiful day. When he arrived in the quiet room where the only sounds audible were quiet whispers and the rustle of pages turning, he didn't have to look for them. He knew where they would be, Moony and Evans were such bookworms that they actually had _their_ usual table in the library, just thinking about it made James smile. Perhaps it was for the best, his awful eyesight wouldn't have liked him going looking for them all across the room. He could discern from where he was standing the red spot at the other end of the hushed room, Lily's hair spread on her shoulders. Remus was sitting next to her but as he approached them, James realized they weren't alone. Two other students were sitting across from them and the four of them seemed to be leaning over the table. He first thought it was a book that interested them this much – apparently, people who spent time in the library considered books thrilling – but as he got closer, he recognized the familiar grey paper and the moving pictures. _The Daily Prophet._

"What are you all looking at?" James asked cheerfully as he pulled loudly a chair from the adjacent table.

"Sssshh!" They all hushed him in unison, almost a reflex.

He shrugged. "_Oh please_, there's no one here but you."

This wasn't strictly true. A couple other tables were taken, not far from them, but since they were only 2nd or 3rd years, they didn't exactly exist to James, let alone matter. He glanced at the two people sitting with Evans and Lupin and this close he could finally make them out. They were _the Seans_, a couple which had been together for so long they weren't really considered as individual people anymore. The boy was a Huffelpuff prefect and the girl was the Gryffindor seeker, and Lily's roommate.

They looked up at him when he sat down with them and seemed surprised. Lily talked, saying out loud what they were all thinking "Well, there's you. And that is certainly the most surprising part."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't come for the books Evans" he shrugged. "I came for this" James continued, staring at her.

Lily's heart skipped a beat as his hand advanced towards her cheek. She blushed at once, _what the hell was he doing?_ His fingers went to her hair, brushing it lightly and grabbed a strand of it. Her mind went blank, her cheeks burning, and she simply sat there, completely frozen, until she finally understood what was happening.

"Oh God, I totally forgot!"

James put his now recovered glasses on his nose and smiled at the view. Everything looked incredibly beautiful and sharp whenever he put them back on. "Sweet Merlin, you look good!" he said to no one in particular, fortunately diverting the attention from Lily's crimson cheeks. She could have slapped herself right there if she didn't fear they'd think she was completely mad.

"So, what're you all looking at?" He dragged the newspaper to him and analyzed the article they appeared to have been reading.

"Two Muggleborns were murdered Thursday." Sean Collins, the Huffelpuff answered.

He didn't have to ask who was guilty. It was so clear, it was the only thing the Prophet talked about these days for it outshone all the others. Death Eaters. James swallowed, glancing briefly at Lily. She pretended to look up something in one of her books but he knew she was only avoiding looking at him. He could always tell when she was trying to hide something. He pushed his spectacles higher on his nose and skimmed through the page really quickly. "Wait- Weaver. Isn't that...?"

"Louisa's father, yes."

He looked instinctively back at Lily and this time, their gazes met. Her eyes were pleading. _Please. Don't. Tell. Anyone._ "But, shouldn't she have gone back home to attend the funeral or something?"

"She did," Remus explained. "She's been missing classes these last two days and we've all been wondering where she went and-"

"Everyone except you, apparently." Lily cut off coldly. "It's nice to see you care Potter."

"I had more important things to care about." he answered in the same tone and his stare was so intense she had to lower hers.

_You git_, she thought, already regretting having told him about her own father. She had been disoriented and confused after McGonagall's words. Confusion made you do stupid things.

She cleared her throat, realizing everyone was staring at them, wondering what was going on between the both of them. "We'd better get to work if we want to get anything done before lunch."

"Right" agreed Lupin, putting the Daily Prophet back in his schoolbag.

James stood up, making his chair scrape against the floor. Lily winced. Couldn't he do anything quietly? "Then it is time I must go, m'friends. Sean, see you at practice" he said, this time addressing the girl, "Don't be late!"

"I'm no Black" she answered with a grin.

"Good point."

And with that, he walked away in his arrogant _Move over_, _I'm Captain of the Quidditch Team and I own this school _kind of way that had the power to make Lily's skin prickle. Damn, he made everything look so easy. Especially making her hate him.

* * *

"Why are the Seans called _the Seans_?" Sirius asked, sprawled on his bed.

He had his feet on his pillow and his head was dangling over the edge of the mattress. _Funny_, he thought, _Prongs looks shorter upside down._

"Well, for one, Sean Collins' name is Sean" James answered solemny. He bended over to dodge Sirius' pillow which had been thrown at him.

"Thanks Prongs, I think I could have figured that out by myself. I mean, the girl, MacNamara, why do we all call her Sean too?"

"Her first name is unpronounceable. I think the girls came up with that nickname in Second year or so." James was slipping on his Quidditch uniform before going to lunch. They'd both went back to the room to fetch what they needed for the practice, and that's when Sirius came up with this question for no reason.

"So what you're saying is that they're not called _the Seans _because they form one entity but that they were both called Sean individually before they got together?"

"And what's so disturbing about it?" James wondered, as usual puzzled with Sirius' train of thought.

"Well, that's pretty selfish, isn't it? In the whole school, they had to date the one person we can't differentiate them from."

James rolled his eyes. "He's a bloke, she's a bird. I think that's _differentiating_ enough."

"You never understand what I mean."

"Padfoot... You never understand what you mean either."

* * *

"I can't believe Louisa's dad is..."

"I know" Lily answered weakly. Remus glanced at her, surprised to see how this seemed to affect her. It was probably due to the fact that she was, too, a Muggleborn. He couldn't guess dads and deaths were a difficult matter for her to discuss these days.

"Fluctibus" he stated to the Fat Lady, who opened the passage without even looking at them. The Common Room was busier than this morning, all the Gryffindors seemed to have decided to meet there to gossip before heading downstairs to have lunch.

"Do you know where Megan is?" Lily asked randomly, curious about whom her roommate had spent the morning with. Remus, surprisingly, seemed to know everything happening in the school without even meaning to. People simply confided in him so easily, he seemed to possess information about everyone.

"She's with Peter," he muttered, obviously displeased about it.

"She dressed up for Peter?" Lily queried aloud.

Remus frowned, once again making his friend wonder what was going on with Megan and him. "What do you mean, she dressed up?"

"Well, the whole content of her closet was spread out on her bed this morning, which usually means she dressed up."

They had crossed the whole Common Room and started up the boys' stairs together. Lily had to go fetch a book she had lent to Remus a few weeks ago. "I don't know why she would do it for Peter though," she went on, pondering the question. "He's like her oldest friend."

Lupin mumbled something she didn't quite catch and she stared at him for a long time. He could sometimes be really bitter, but he had never showed much this face of him with her before. And she had never thought Megan could be the reason of it. Considering it wiser not to push him on the subject, she simply didn't add anything. They were almost to the 6th year boys' room anyway.

When they were just a few steps from the door, they could hear Sirius and James' voice apparently talking about something that involved Cornish pixies. She really didn't want to know where this discussion was heading. And above all, she didn't want to face James.

She stopped in the staircase, a hand on the railway and let Remus continue without her. When he realized she wasn't following, he turned to her. "Not coming?"

"No, I- I'll just wait here till you come back."

"Oh- Okay" he simply answered, looking at her sympathetically. She didn't have to say more, he understood. "I won't take long."

He turned the doorknob and stepped in the room, making Lily hear the voices clearer for a split second before the door closed behind him. His friends instantly greeted him.

"Moony, what a delightful surprise!" Sirius' voice said, in a strange strangled tone. She didn't know what he was doing but coming from him, no hypothesis was to exclude.

"You do know it's my room too, right?"

"How did the _mourning your youth_ session go?" That was James.

"We were _studying_, Prongs."

"My point exactly."

There were several sounds, the rustle of someone moving on a mattress, a trunk being opened and a loud thump, like something being thrown over the room. _The Marauders in their natural habitat_, Lily thought. She really didn't want to witness that.

Sirius again. "You were with Lily, right?" There was a silence. She didn't know if her friend had nodded or even answered in a low voice, but Sirius went on "I'm pretty sure this is against the rules."

"What rules?" Remus interrogated, his voice becoming nervous. _Yeah, what rules? _Lily thought. She didn't know if she was growing embarrassed or curious, overhearing them talk about her but walking away wasn't an option anyway.

"Well, you seem to spend an awful lot of time with her these days. It's unfair, the end of the year is coming soon and Prongs is-"

"Padfoot..." Remus growled as a warning Sirius didn't understand.

"Prongs is never going to snog her if you keep monopolizing the bird's attention!"

"Come on," James intervened in the most annoying self-assured voice. "Remus isn't going to change anything, I think I can fight for myself fairly well."

There was a loud _click _and Remus' voice grew louder. "You really should _shut up_ now. Both of you."

"I know twenty galleons is quite a sum and you'd rather spend it on butterbeers than to put it in my pocket" Sirius went on, ignoring his friend "but you're not playing fair! We don't see Wormtail going around sabotaging the bet now, do we?"

"PADFOOT NOW SHUT UP!"

Remus ran to the door and slammed it behind him. He tried to rush to Lily but she was already racing down the stairs. He called after her, their hurried steps echoing in the tower and they were almost back in the Common Room when he caught up with her.

"Lily, wait!" He tried to grab her sleeve but she jerked her arm back, infuriated.

"Wait for what? What could you POSSIBLY have to say?" She yelled. She was furious, but there was something more in her eyes that were suddenly bright: disappointment.

"It's stupid, it was months ago, we were drunk, it doesn't mean-"

"Twenty galleons? That's all I'm worth to you all? To Potter? Twenty galleons? You'd do anything for a good laugh, wouldn't you? No matter who you walk on in the process, as long as it's entertaining. The four of you really don't understand everything is not about you, do you? I always knew James and Sirius were gits. But I expected more from you, Remus."

There was so much sadness in her eyes that it took him off guard. He really didn't think it would hurt her that much. That was the painful truth and shame came flooding through his mind as he realized that, actually, they didn't think about her at all. "Lil', please let me talk, I'm sorry, I really am..."

"Don't be. You should be glad in fact, you've made yourself twenty galleons." She turned round, facing away. She didn't know exactly why it pained her so much, all she knew was that she didn't want Remus to see her that way. "James Potter is the greatest prat that ever walked the planet. He's the _last_ person on earth I would let near me."

She opened the door and slipped in the Common Room, closing it firmly behind her.

She didn't know it yet, she had no idea. But she couldn't have been more wrong


End file.
